Kiley's 6th B-day!

For Kiley's birthday my dad flew into town to spend the day with her.  We stayed pretty busy celebrating kiley's 6th birthday.

We started the morning by bringing birthday donuts to her school class.  (we did birthday donuts because it was a half day at school and didnt want to bring cupcakes to school in the morning)

Dad had a blast and got the kids all hyper and jumping around, luckily Kiley's teacher was able to calm them back down quickly.

We took Kiley to lunch at her favorite restaurant...McDonalds.  And get this, Dad ordered something there and ate it!  AMAZING.

We went home and began opening birthday gifts.  She got a lot.  Much more than any little girl needs.  She got a guitar from Shawn, I got her a tumbling mat, she got some palace pets, some coloring books, a flashlight friend, a purse, new bracelets, a couple new movies, and some other things I cant recall at this moment. 

We went to dinner at Long Horn steakhouse where Kiley got mac and cheese (her fav) and an ice cream sunday.  Our server also gave her a birthday card signed by her and several other staff members.

The following day Dad flew home and Kiley and I celebrated her birthday with her friends at Crystal Coast Gymnastics.  I think 11 friends showed up!  It was a full house.  She had a great time with her friends, playing in the gym, eating cake, and opening gifts.

We missed Shawn all weekend, but he was able to face time with Kiley to wish her a happy birthday.

Adoption Update #12

In addition to the 2 girls we had already submitted our PPA and photo books for, another little girl (2 yrs old in our own county) became available for adoption.  So we jumped on that and submitted our stuff for her too.

Here's what happened.  We know for sure we didn't get 2 of the 3 girls.  One of the girls we had originally been interested in was matched with a different family.  This little girl's case worker had been very excited about us initially and had stated that we were one of the families she was interested in.  But my case worker believes we were not selected because of our location to where the child is.  We are about 7 hours away.  The child's case worker would have been responsible for follow up visits and my case worker said that "caseworkers don't like to travel".

And the little 2 yr old girl from our county was also matched with a different family.  This was hard for us because we know exactly why we were not selected.  We weren't selected because the little girl is African American and her case worker specifically requested that she be placed with an African American family.  It's hard to know that we would have had a good shot except for the color of our skin.  I feel like it's racist, but my case worker explained that it's been happening a lot lately.  Children want to be surrounded by people who look like them, who act like them, who have the same believes as them.

We have not heard anything about the final girl we were interested in, but we assume we did not get her because we submitted our PPA and photo book quite a while ago.  We also know that the little girl was heavily involved with a baptist church and the case worker was trying to match the girl with a family who would continue to take her to a baptist church each Sunday where she enjoys singing in the choir.  This child is also far from us.  About 6 hours away.

I'm feeling upset, sad, emotional, and hurt.  It's really hard to read about a child that you want because we really start committing at the time we submit our PPA.  When we submit our PPA it means we want to be considered for the child.  It means we want to adopt this child.  And I shouldn't, but every time I read a profile for a child I start becoming attached.  I start thinking of how this child will become a part of our family.  I imagine what things will change and what will stay the same and wonder about the child's personality.  I get excited and anxious and then we wait.  And then we find out we aren't what they're looking for and it's hard.  It's so hard to be excited about something, something that consumes my thoughts, and then find out it's not going to happen.

I'm ranting, but I'm doing it because I want to be able to look back and see what my mood was like at different stages during this process.  Right now, my mood's not good.  Mostly I'm sad and hurt that these case workers don't seem to like us.

I talked to my case worker and she assured me that it isn't because we aren't desirable or that something's wrong with us.  She said that the case workers just might have found something in another family that would be more compatible with the child than we would.  (It's still not easy to hear, but it's really about the kids, not about us).

So that's where we are right now.  And it's hard everyday wondering when I'm going to get a call or an email with a child's profile.  I know it'll happen, but when we've been trying to adopt for so long I can't help but be impatient.

Another Farewell

Seems like he's always leaving, but hopefully this will be the last "long" deployment.  

Shawn left for Afghanistan today.  We just dropped him off with about 40 other marines from his unit.  Shawn said there would be a total of about 320 marines flying out together, so it's gonna be a full flight.

I'm already missing him, the first few days are always the hardest.  Kiley's holding up really well.  She didn't cry, but once we got home, she said she already missed Shawn.  We already sat her down and let her know that Shawn would be gone for her b-day and for x-mas.  We just didn't want those things to come as a surprise later.

Shawn should be home maybe January or February of 2014.  Can't wait for his return :)

Adoption update #11

Just a quick update, we have submitted our ppa and photo book for 2 different children.

Our stuff gets handed over to the children's case workers for review and then we wait. Our case worker Cameron said that we might hear back from them in a week, a month or possibly never. Here's the deal, there might be 10 different couples interested in the same child, so theres a little bit of competition but it's completely out of our hands now. so we wait. 

But while we wait, if other children became available we can submit our ppa and photo book for them too. 

If the case workers are interested in us, they will have us come out and meet the child. Then from there I have no idea. 

Shawn leaves in a couple days for another deployment to Afghanistan and we really did a lot of thinking about what we should do about the adoption while he's gone. We decided that if the situation happens and we are fortunate to find a child while he's gone, we are going to go ahead with the adoption. Yes, it might be difficult for me to do this without him. And yes, it might be difficult when Shawn comes home to an addition to the family. But for us, we don't want to take the chance that we might miss an amazing child. So if a child is available and we are selected, we will go through with the adoption without Shawn here. 

Shawn thinks I'm weird because every time I hear a beep that tells me Im getting an email, I always always always think its gonna be our case worker telling us about a new child or following up on one we are interested in. Even when the email comes in at midnight on a Saturday. I'm lame, I know, but I'm so excited, anxious, and hoping to hear something before Shawn leaves. 

Wish us luck!

4th of July

We spent the 4th of July with our friends Mike, Becky and their daughter Haley.  We had a BBQ at their house in New Bern, NC and then watched the fireworks.

Anyone else agree Sparklers have gone downhill since we were kids?  They SUCKED the big one.

And then Kiley got curious and touched the sparkler tip (while it was sparkling) and got a nasty burn on her finger.  It blistered immediately.  She was a trooper though and barely shed a tear.  We got some Neosporin and a bandaid on the finger and she was all better :)

All these pics were taken before the burn, otherwise there would have been no smiles from Kiley.

 

Dance Recital

Kiley had her very first dance recital today.  She's only been taking classes for about a month, but so far loves it.  She takes class at the Dance Department in Newport, NC.  Her dance teacher is the owner, Miss Lianda.

She preformed 3 different dances in the recital.  The first was a cheer dance called "The Mom Song".  The 2nd was a jazz dance to the music "We Are a Family".  And the final number was a lyrical dance to the song "It's Raining, It's Pouring".

The costume in the pictures is for the lyrical dance.  And the bright color costume was for both the cheer and jazz dances.

 

Carnival

So there was this little tiny carnival in Havelock this week so we decided to check it out.  It wasn't a ton of fun and I probably wouldn't recommend going, but we enjoyed it because it gave us something to do and only cost us $20

9 Years

Today is our 9 year anniversary!

Shawn was so amazing, he took the day off work and woke me up with breakfast in bed, flowers and a really cute card.

We spent the afternoon at the beach with the rest of the East Coast population.  I got to use my new beach umbrella (the Sportbrella) and loved it.

Then we went to downtown New Bern for dinner and ate at The Chelsea and had dessert at the Cow Cafe.  It was a great anniversary spent as a family.

 

Dance Class

Kiley started dance classes this week. She ended up quitting karate to make time for dance. She loved her first class. It's 1 1/2 hours.  the first half focuses on ballet and lyrical and the 2nd half is cheer/acrobatics. 

The class is getting ready for a summer recital in a month so they mostly worked on their routines during the class. Her teacher thinks she has enough time to learn the dance routines and participate in the recital at the end of June. She has a lot of work ahead of her if she is going to learn the dances. They're actually quite difficult for kids to learn, but we video taped the dances and she's been working on them at home. 

So on June 30th she'll be performing one lyrical dance and one cheer routine. We already ordered the costumes so we are crossing our fingers that she can catch up with the rest of the class.

Thats her in the back row on the right. Pink leotard and black shorts. 

The Dentist

Kiley had her first dentist appointment.  She did amazing.  No cavities and strong teeth.  She had her teeth cleaned and flossed and then had a fluoride treatment.

She got to wear sunglasses so the light wouldn't hurt her eyes

Big smile after her cleaning!

Exploring Eastern NC

We've lived in Eastern NC for about 1 1/2 years now and haven't really done much exploring.  So the past few weekends we've gone out to experience everything eastern NC has to offer.

A couple weeks ago we went to the Tryon Palace in New Bern, NC with our Sundquist visitors.  The place had beautiful gardens that we were able to walk around and a small visitors center.

  

Last weekend we visited Fort Macon.  I really don't know what it is, just some sort of fort made for the civil war that never even saw battle.

Then today we went and visited one of the lighthouses in the outer banks.  Cape Lookout Lighthouse.  From our house, it took about 45 minutes to get to the boat.  You have to take a boat to get to the island and once on the island, there's really nothing there.  You can climb the lighthouse if you want (we could not because Kiley is not tall enough), and then you can just hang out on the beaches.  They are known for their amazing seashell beaches.  Kiley came home with a huge shell!  We spent about 3 hours on the island.  Great weather today, about 85ish with a nice cool breeze on the beach.

Oh, on the boat ride to the lighthouse we were able to see some of the wild horses that live on the outer banks.

 

Adoption Update #10

Today we met with our case worker, Cameron.  We met in her office in Greenville, NC about 1 1/2 hours away but well worth the drive because today, we signed our last document!

Our foster/adoptive parent license application will be reviewed one final time and submitted to the state by the end of this week. The state will take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to approve (or deny) our application. Cameron said there should be no reason they would deny the application unless there was an error, but she's going to do her best to make sure it is submitted perfectly :)

That basically means that in a month and a half we are eligible to have a child placed in our home!  

In case you don't know, Shawn is deploying again this summer. So we need to make a decision about possibly accepting a child if he's not home. It's a tough decision because Shawn really wants/needs to be home so our family can bond together. But if we get a call that they have a child for us and we turn down the offer, we won't know when another child will come along. Tough stuff to think about. 

But mostly we're so excited and anxious. Yay for us!

The waiting game has officially begun. 

Pre-School Graduation!

 

Kiley graduated from pre-school on May 10th, 2013 from the Child Development Center on Cherry Point, NC.  She was super excited and insisted on wearing a pretty dress.  Her hair didn't get curled like she had wanted because we ran out of time while getting ready.  It's a bit of a wake up call for us with regard to time management.  We aren't used to getting up early in the AM because her pre-school had been in the afternoon, but her graduation was in the AM, hence no curled hair.  We're really going to need to work on this issue because kindergarden starts early :(




But anyway, the graduation was cute.  The kids all got caps and gowns (color was based on their class, her afternoon class wore white).  The kids recited the pledge of allegiance, sang "My country tis of Thee" and received diplomas.


She's a little upset because she's not going to see some of her friends again, but she's excited to be starting kindergarden this August.

Kiley's teachers (left to right): Ms. Estelle, Ms. Stephanie, Ms. Barbara (her favorite)

  

Adoption update #9

Just a quick update on the adoption. As you know our home study/interviews have been completed. We are currently taking our MAPP classes on Saturdays from 9-4 in Greenville. (1 1/2 hours from home).
The classes are actually really great. A lot of people make fun that've have to take parenting classes. They don't understand why we need classes when we're already parents. But the thing is, we are learning how to parent children who have been abused or neglected. These children have all had major losses in their lives and we are learning how to help the children learn to trust again and learn to grow from past experiences.
We both thought going into the classes that we were already prepared for whatever challenges we encountered with our future child, but only now I realize how wrong we were. We have really learned a lot and feel so much more prepared for our future child. Although, we can never truly be prepared because every child is different and there is no exact path to parenting that we can follow. But we do feel more confident in our parenting ability and our ability to understand the emotions that our child is going to go through.
So, just one more Saturday of this class. And we're looking forward to it because it's s panel of adoptive parents who do a question and answer meeting with us.

Also, just want to give a shout out to our new nephew Sinave Aiono. Can't wait to meet you buddy!

Reading

I read a lot and last year I read almost 200 books, but no "Good" books.  The books I read were entertaining, but I feel guilty that I didn't read anything really substantial.  

SO, this year, I am challenging myself to read 1 classic book a month.  

In January I read Mansfield Park by Jane Austin.  In February I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

19th Century English literature seems to be one of my favorite genres, so I'm probably going to stick with that this year.  Maybe next year I'll branch out a bit more.

Any suggestions on classic literature I should read this year?

Adoption Update #8

We had our final home interview for our adoption on Friday 02/01.  Our case worker Cameron completed a final home inspection.  Basically she checked each room in the house and made sure all bathrooms were in working order.  She also checked to make sure we had moved our medications into the lock box and the cleaning supplies were moved to a high shelf.

She sat down with us and we completed more paperwork, mostly related to our MAPP Classes that we will be taking starting this weekend.  She sat down with us individually and even sat down with Kiley alone to ask her questions.

There are a few more things we are required to provide: A family photo, DMV checks for both Shawn and me, Verification of education, auto insurance declaration page, copy of vehicle registrations, copies of our driver's licenses, pet vaccination records, fill out a financial form, and we need to become CPR certified.

We also still need to finish up our adoption profile book and get 20 copies made.  I am about 90% done!  This has been a project.

Our MAPP Classes begin this Saturday.  They start at 9am and end at 4pm.  LONG DAY.  Especially since we have a little over 1 1/2 hours just to get there.  We have 5 classes to attend and then we're almost done with the adoption process!

After the classes, we will have one more interview with our case worker (at her office in Greenville) and from there I think we start playing the waiting game.

Adoption Update #7

We've been busy getting most of our homework done from our last adoption home visit.

Here's some things that we've done to get our home "Adoption ready"

1. The Fire Marshal came and did a home inspection...we passed!  We had to install a fire extinguisher and have it mounted on the wall.  We also had to have an evacuation map posted in the house along with emergency phone numbers posted.  I feel like we live in a hotel with the evacuation map posted...but hey, all guests will know exactly which escape route to take when staying at our house.  Better to be safe than sorry!  haha.  All smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors were working properly.  All windows need to open quickly and easily.

 

2. We had to move all our medicines out of the kitchen and into our closet.  All medications need to be kept in a lock box.  We purchased one lock box for our regular medications and one lock box that goes in the refrigerator for the medications that need to be kept cold.  I actually bought those lock cash boxes and just took out the cash drawer part.  Works great and is way cheaper than getting a regular lock box.

3. All our cleaning supplies need to be kept out of children's reach.  So we took all the cleaning supplies from under the sink, in the bathrooms and the laundry room, and moved them to an above the counter cupboard.

4. We all had to have physicals done.  Luckily Kiley had a physical in October and had her shots updated at that time, but Shawn and I had to have physicals completed and get up to date on shots.  Since Kiley had done her physical and shots in October, her doctor just signed the paperwork without meeting with her again.  Me, I had to have a TB shot...it hurt :(

5. I've been working on our adoption profile photo book.  It's going OK, but there's still a lot of photos I need to get.  I need to take photos of our house, inside and out.  I need photos of our dogs.  I need a big family photo including the dogs.  And I need a couple more random photos.  Then I have to have 20 of these books printed.  YIKES.  That's gonna be pricy.  But it'll be worth it!