We are beginning the process of adopting a child. We are adopting for a few reasons. One reason being that we want to expand our family. Another reason that we want to help change a child's life for the better, to provide the child with opportunities that he/she might not have otherwise, we want to be a family to a child who does not have one.
We are interested in adopting a child from the foster care system here in North Carolina. We are specifically looking for a child anywhere from the age of 2-5ish. We would love a little boy, but we would be just as happy with a little girl.
This process is going to be a long and very emotion process...I'm already emotional and we've only just begun.
Since Shawn is out of town in 29 Palms for the next few weeks, I've decided to get the ball rolling and talk to the Department of Social Services in our county. The Department is in New Bern, NC (about 30 minutes away from us). I left a message for my contact person Pam on Tuesday and she called me back today (Thursday) to discuss our interest in adoption. I had a lengthy phone conversation with her and I'll share some of the pros and cons regarding our chances for adoption. (all this information was given by the DSS today by phone)
- Because we already have a child, most private agencies in the state feel we have already been "blessed" with a child and we will be put low on the list of potential parents. However, if we are able to adopt though the state foster care, their opinion is different. They feel that if we have a child already, we have more experience raising children and it will not affect our application.
- Being a military family is good because the state feels we are more open to diversity.
- Having a parent in the home full time (stay at home mom) is extremely important. It would be harder to get a child placed in the home if both parents worked full time.
- Most children in the foster care system up for adoption are over the age of 6. Currently in our county, there are 0 children available for adoption under the age of 6.
(all children in the system are available for fostering, but not all foster children are available for adoption). Most children under the age of 6 are already with foster families. If the child becomes available for adoption, 9 times out of 10 the foster family the child is already with will adopt the child.
- If we become foster parents in the hope that the child will become adoptable in the future, there is no guarantee that the child's parent will not come to claim the child. One day we could have the child in our home, the next the child could be gone.
- The county has mandatory classes that prospective adoptive parents need to attend. (30 hours total). The classes have already started for this season and the next set of classes don't start until August. (Shawn will be deployed). We will not be able to attend the classes until he returns. The classes begin again in Jan 2013.
- If we choose to go with a private agency, we might be able to get around the class schedule and hopefully complete our classes before Shawn leaves for Afghanistan. However, a private agency can be very pricey. If we adopt through the state's foster care system, the military will reimburse us up to $5k of the cost of the adoption. They will not reimburse us if we use a private agency.
- Because we are not from here, and might not stay here permanently, we will only have the option of children with no family ties in the area. Many children in the system have other siblings or family that they need or hope to stay in contact with over the years. (We do not plan to stay in N Carolina permanently).
My contact person at the DSS is sending me some information by mail to read over with Shawn when he returns home. Once we have read it, we need to set up a face to face meeting with the DSS. We will get a better understanding of our options our chances of adoption.
I also have a phone number for a private agency who deals with not only babies, but also children of all ages. We will be making contact with them as well to increase our chances of finding a child.
I'm going to be keeping this blog updated with information and updates on our road to adoption. This blog can keep all our family and friends updated, but it will also be a way for me to keep a journal of our experiences while we go through this journey.
