Adoption Update #4

So it looks like we're going to have to hold off on the adoption until Shawn gets home.

The agency agreed to move forward with the adoption as long as Shawn could Skype with us for the home interviews and if there was some way Shawn could get fingerprints done while he's gone.

Unfortunately, Shawn cannot Skype while he's gone because his base does not have wifi.  And the base is small and does not have the capability to do finger printing.

So, we will wait until Shawn returns.

We will not have to re-do the 1st interview, we can just pick up right where we left off.  And we will still have the same contact person, Cameron Bradley.

I'm a little upset because I would really have liked to get the process moving along while Shawn was gone, but it just doesn't look like it's going to happen.

There will probably not be another adoption update on the blog until closer to the end of the year.  But we'll keep a good attitude and hope that once Shawn gets home the process will move quickly and that we will have a child placed with us in 2013!

Farewell

Shawn left for a 6 month deployment in Afghanistan yesterday.

At 6:00pm yesterday, Kiley and I took Shawn to his unit's office building where all the marines and families met to say goodbye. Turns out, there were only a total of 5 marines leaving at the same time as Shawn. All 5 guys were traveling with the cargo and therefore left at a different time then most of the other marines with this unit.

The unit gave all the kids teddy bears to squeeze when they miss their daddies. Kiley loves her bear and the 1st thing she said when she woke up this morning was that she made sure to hug her bear last night because she missed dad already.

Shawn was supposed to leave at midnight and head to Spain and then to Afghanistan, but after the flight plans changed about 4 times, he finally left N. Carolina and went straight to Germany. He should only be in Germany a day or two and then he'll head right in to Afghanistan.

Shawn took a few pictures last night while he was waiting around for his flight (which didn't end up leaving until 2am) Shawn put some of the pictures up on Facebook already, but there's a few more here.

His flight accommodations were nothing short of uncomfortable! At least they were able to move around during the flight, but as far as seats go, what you see is what you get. He said he would probably end up sleeping in one of the hummers or on top of luggage during the flight.

I was so proud of Kiley last night. She cried for just a minute on the drive home from dropping Shawn off. She said she was sad, but that she would be OK. She's a pretty brave little girl.

PS: Shawn texted me this morning and let me know that he made it safely to Germany and that they were planning to stay at some sort of hotel this evening. He hopes to be able to get off base and get some real food tonight. I'm not sure how he's texting me because his phone service was cancelled while he's deployed, but maybe he's figured out how to text from his ipad. Who knows.

If anyone would like to send him mail, he is at Camp Edin Burgh. Address the letter like this:

SSgt R.S. Sundquist

VMU 2 DET D Scan Eagle

Unit 78103

FPO AE 09510-8103

Just a regular 44 cent stamp on any letters.

I've been told mail takes about 10 days to arrive, packages take a bit longer. If you plan to send a package, let me know because there are some restrictions on what you can send. And you need to make sure to follow a few guidelines that they have already talked to me about.

Shawn can also get emails, so that's always a good way to contact him.

The seat he sat in on his flight to Germany.

Shawn in his seat...oh yeah, they weren't supposed to have been issued their guns until they got into Afghanistan, but they found out they were going to have to carry their guns the whole flight. Bummer. Shawn carries the gun you see in the picture and a small pistol on his hip.

You can kind of see more of what's being transported. The plane is filled with vehicles and luggage.

Here's the plane that they took. That's how to enter and exit the plane.

Adoption Update #3

We had our "1st Interview" today with the Children's Home Society (the private agency). Our contact person from this point forward at CHS is Cameron Bradley.

I was so nervous about this interview because I was so afraid that Ms. Bradley wouldn't like us or that she would find us unqualified, but it turns out, I had nothing to be worried about.

This interview lasted about 1 1/2 hours. She sat with us and just asked us questions about ourselves and about our families and our childhood. We told her why we were interested in adoption and what kind of child we are interested in. We are working with CHS to adopt a child from the foster care system.

Our only issue right now is that Shawn is deploying in the next couple weeks and will be gone for 6 months. The paperwork that we completed today and a couple weeks ago is only good for 6 months. Ms. Bradley is going to check with her supervisor regarding this issue. It is unknown right now if I will be able to use a power of attorney to sign Shawn's name on all this paperwork while he's away. If so, we are going to try and Skype during our next home interviews so Shawn knows what's going on and is understanding everything while he's over seas.

We have a more positive outlook on things now. Ms. Bradley said that adopting through their agency is more expensive than going directly through DSS, but CHS tries to match every adoptive parent with a child ASAP. They do not like to have parents waiting for very long. She said the process can take as little as 3 months. We left the meeting with high hopes that we might have a child placed with us by next summer! (maybe not, but we can hope...right!) She also gave us hope that we would be able to adopt a child within the specific age group we are requesting!

Both Shawn and I really like Cameron Bradley and feel more comfortable with her as our contact person. She is very personable. She also mentioned that she comes from a foster care background and understands what it's like growing up in the system. She explained that she is fairly new to the adoption side of the business, but has many years of experience with prospective foster parents. She will also be one of the instructors in the classes we will be required to take.

Adoption Update #2

Here's what's been going on:

The Department of Social Services mailed us a packet of information to read over. It was included in this information that they have no children under the age of 6 available for adoption at this time. However, this really means nothing to us because we are not even eligible to adopt until we complete the 30 hr adoption pre-placement prep class. This class has already begun for this season and the next set of classes begin in September. Shawn is deployed in September. We will not be able to take the classes until the spring classes in 2013. We have filled out a document requesting that we be put on the list for the spring 2013 classes. There appears to be nothing more we can do with the DSS at this time.

We have been in contact with a private agency who works closely with the DSS. The agency is called "Children's Home Society" (CHS). They have a great website with children's profiles and many children have created a video to share. CHS provided us with an information packet and an initial application to complete. The information packet explains that they offer adoption from the foster care system, but that they also have no children under the age of 6 available. It is a state requirement that we complete the 30 hours of classes, but this company has staff who are certified to teach the classes as well. We might be able to complete our classes through this agency instead of waiting until spring 2013. But because Shawn leaves in a month for deployment, we probably can't do the classes until he returns at the end of the year.

We filled out the application and it's been mailed to the agency. The agency will review our initial application and contact us by phone to discuss our next steps in this adoption process.

It's a little discouraging that there are no children under the age of 6 available for adoption. We hope that by the time we are finished with the application process and home studies that things might change and we might be able to adopt a child between the ages of 2-5. Crossing our fingers. We really want Kiley to be the oldest child in our family mostly because she's been used to being an only child.

There's always the choice to adopt internationally, but for me, I would prefer to adopt from our own country where I know there are children in need of homes and in need of love. Our desire to adopt a child within a specific age range might prove to be too difficult to accommodate, so we'll have to make a decision. If we want a specific age, we might have to look internationally.

London and Paris

Just got home from a great trip with my mom to London and Paris. We spent 3 1/2 days in London and 6 days in Paris. On our last day in Paris, we picked up Joe from his mission home and he showed us the sights. Here's some of the highlights:

Stonehenge (in the snow)...and yes, it was FREEZING

Bath...basically a high end spa for the rich people back in the day.

Found a Banksy! (in London they preserve his work instead of ripping it down)

Mom and I at Buckingham Palace where we were told we saw Prince Charles (but who really knows)

Me in front of one of my favorite pieces of art (Winged Victory) inside the Louvre

The 3 of us at the Arc de Triumph...and yes, we climbed the whole thing because we were told the lift was only for the physically handicapped. It was hard and made us very dizzy.

The Palace of Versailles. The gardens were closed because it was so cold, but the inside was amazing.

The eiffel tower of course

Notre Dame...also due to the cold weather, we were not able to climb up to the top.

The Sacre Coeur in Montmarte

The catacombs in Paris. I highly recommend going here. We had never heard of it until Joe mentioned it and it was well worth the time and effort to get there.

We took a bus tour to Normandy. Very cool.

If you're wondering why we look so cold in the pictures, well, it's because we were FREEZING. It was so cold, but because it was so cold, there were not as many tourists. We were able to do a lot of things and take a lot of pictures that might not have happened if there had been more people.

This was a GREAT trip and I had so much fun with my mama!

Missing Shawn

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since Shawn left for 29 Palms. With very little cell service, calls to and from him have been difficult. We get to talk about 2 times per week. But emails are a bit more frequent.
Kiley's having a rough time and I'm very nervous for his 6 months in afghanistan coming soon. She reminds me every day that she misses her daddy.
We're trying to keep busy and making new friends. Shawn will hopefully be home by february 22nd. We are getting lonely. :(

Just the beginning

Because the only people who read this blog are family and friends (hopefully), I feel comfortable sharing some personal information with everyone.

We are beginning the process of adopting a child. We are adopting for a few reasons. One reason being that we want to expand our family. Another reason that we want to help change a child's life for the better, to provide the child with opportunities that he/she might not have otherwise, we want to be a family to a child who does not have one.

We are interested in adopting a child from the foster care system here in North Carolina. We are specifically looking for a child anywhere from the age of 2-5ish. We would love a little boy, but we would be just as happy with a little girl.

This process is going to be a long and very emotion process...I'm already emotional and we've only just begun.

Since Shawn is out of town in 29 Palms for the next few weeks, I've decided to get the ball rolling and talk to the Department of Social Services in our county. The Department is in New Bern, NC (about 30 minutes away from us). I left a message for my contact person Pam on Tuesday and she called me back today (Thursday) to discuss our interest in adoption. I had a lengthy phone conversation with her and I'll share some of the pros and cons regarding our chances for adoption. (all this information was given by the DSS today by phone)

- Because we already have a child, most private agencies in the state feel we have already been "blessed" with a child and we will be put low on the list of potential parents. However, if we are able to adopt though the state foster care, their opinion is different. They feel that if we have a child already, we have more experience raising children and it will not affect our application.

- Being a military family is good because the state feels we are more open to diversity.

- Having a parent in the home full time (stay at home mom) is extremely important. It would be harder to get a child placed in the home if both parents worked full time.

- Most children in the foster care system up for adoption are over the age of 6. Currently in our county, there are 0 children available for adoption under the age of 6.

(all children in the system are available for fostering, but not all foster children are available for adoption). Most children under the age of 6 are already with foster families. If the child becomes available for adoption, 9 times out of 10 the foster family the child is already with will adopt the child.

- If we become foster parents in the hope that the child will become adoptable in the future, there is no guarantee that the child's parent will not come to claim the child. One day we could have the child in our home, the next the child could be gone.

- The county has mandatory classes that prospective adoptive parents need to attend. (30 hours total). The classes have already started for this season and the next set of classes don't start until August. (Shawn will be deployed). We will not be able to attend the classes until he returns. The classes begin again in Jan 2013.

- If we choose to go with a private agency, we might be able to get around the class schedule and hopefully complete our classes before Shawn leaves for Afghanistan. However, a private agency can be very pricey. If we adopt through the state's foster care system, the military will reimburse us up to $5k of the cost of the adoption. They will not reimburse us if we use a private agency.

- Because we are not from here, and might not stay here permanently, we will only have the option of children with no family ties in the area. Many children in the system have other siblings or family that they need or hope to stay in contact with over the years. (We do not plan to stay in N Carolina permanently).

My contact person at the DSS is sending me some information by mail to read over with Shawn when he returns home. Once we have read it, we need to set up a face to face meeting with the DSS. We will get a better understanding of our options our chances of adoption.

I also have a phone number for a private agency who deals with not only babies, but also children of all ages. We will be making contact with them as well to increase our chances of finding a child.

I'm going to be keeping this blog updated with information and updates on our road to adoption. This blog can keep all our family and friends updated, but it will also be a way for me to keep a journal of our experiences while we go through this journey.